In the situation today, what’s the cause and effect for elderly parents needing care? Your parents' assets. And since time is precious, just make every moment count for both of you. Family situations and relationships can change when we become caregivers, working, and caring for elderly parents; it’s usually left to an adult daughter or an adult son. The long-term effects may not be evident right away. As we get older, so do our parents and other loved ones. So, in fact, often people feel bad saying no, they genuinely want to help. You wouldn’t have to worry about the quality of care they are receiving from outside sources. It’s important to know when it’s time to get help taking care of elderly parents. I was free from everything. The idea of giving up your life to care for elderly parents is more apparent when you give up a job, or you give up a promising career. The way to a better experience is to create positive family relationships. Giving up your life to care for aging parents may mean that your only focus is working and caring for elderly parents. 03:45 Pamela D. Wilson: Thinking of heaven might be comforting, though, until you try to re-enter the workforce and get a job. Some of the services that professionals can offer include feeding your parent, helping with bathing and using the bathroom, providing exercise opportunities, and helping them get dressed. Coursey, 90, has Alzheimer’s disease. And research has shown that a sense of autonomy and a sense of control is really important for people’s well-being. The caregiving trap that most often happens is that a family caregiver—as we talked with Dr. Bohns—feels like he or she has to do it all. But we think we kind of treat it as this overblown thing that, oh, I shouldn’t have asked, I shouldn’t ask this person anymore. The extra cost of care for an elderly parent in your own home can mount up. This is especially true with those family members who are caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. You can take my caregiver survey; it is on my website at PamelaDWilson.com. When, in fact, people are often quite happy to help for nothing and just feel good helping. They were either given a plant that they cared for on their own—so they had some sort of control over this plant—or they were told the nurses were going to come to take care of this plant. Coming up next week we have Dr. Katherine Ornstein. 31:14 Pamela D. Wilson: This is Pamela D. Wilson caregiving expert. We have to cut out to a break. Help for caregivers and aging adults about planning for care conversations and managing care is in my book; it is called The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Life’s Unexpected Changes. You might be wondering how Dr. Bohns applies—her research focuses on social influence and the extent to which people recognize the influence they have on others. I think we tend to think of empathy as synonymous with caring. There’s research showing that people will suffer bullying for years rather than ask for help. Look into their Medicare and Medicaid plans and find an elderly care services company that you can afford. If the elderly relative is your parent or grandparent and she has a physical or mental disability, you may be entitled to claim an additional $2,121 CAD per year in line 305 of your tax return, "amount for an eligible dependent." Investigate preventative measures. You know the show is on Apple Podcast, Google podcast, and others. Use the right language. Emotions are not "good" or "bad" -- they're just bottled-up energy. However, you could be taking on too much in the process. More than that, our customer service team is backed by caregiving expertise and understands all that goes into senior care. Life can become a bit of a rollercoaster when you have elderly parents to take care of. Third lesson is to find support and education. What elderly parent should do is participate in their care. Would you change your habits if you knew that you could avoid health issues like being miserable and sick in old age? Pamela D. Wilson. You already know what may be gained by giving up your job and becoming the primary full-time caregiver for your parents. So that’s one group of people we tend to overlook, and another group of people we tend to overlook is acquaintances and strangers. 45:28 Pamela D. Wilson: It can be a struggle for all of us to admit that our habits or behaviors might not be good for us, that we’re afraid to ask other people for help. Dr. Bohns, thank you for joining us. COVID-19 is a loss for so many people. Channel 100 and TuneIn Radio, stay with me, we’ll be right back. That favorite caregiving podcast has an interview with Dr. Mayer Davidson; he’s past President of the American Diabetes Association. When caregivers realize that every situation is different, planning for uncertainty becomes a very helpful process while working and caring for elderly parents. Constant complaining, feeling resentful—it can actually be addictive. Have you even been to a doctor lately? But when asking friends, they underestimated just a little bit how likely people would be to do a favor for them. This is information the healthcare system isn’t going to teach you, and also how to manage through caregiving situations that are frustrating. 26:05 Dr. Vanessa Bohns: So we tend to feel most comfortable asking friends and family and close others for help. 14:00 Pamela D. Wilson: Caregivers tend to be more empathetic and many of them keep doing more and more and more. And rejection—being rejected when we ask for help—for example, is a particularly negative emotional experience. We’ll be right back. 17:52 Dr. Vanessa Bohns: Sure. Resentment happens when we replay all these negative feelings. Industries like travel, entertainment are suffering. But it’s also been studied in many other types of relationships. As the disease progresses, so will the needs of your loved one. You’re now rushing to the hospital. What subjects you would like for me to talk about on this radio program? 07:12 Pamela D. Wilson: In all of this, what are the lessons for working and caring for elderly parents, and the idea of giving up your life to care for elderly parents? In a helping situation, you have two individuals who have high emotions. Is it possible to be too helpful? Giving up your life to care for elderly parents may also connect to long-standing family conflicts. So we have some other studies where we had people guess the likelihood that their friends or random strangers would agree to do a favor for them. I’m your host on The Caring Generation radio program for caregivers and aging adults, live on the BBM global network channel 100 and TuneIn radio. It happens in the workplace too, when we feel that a co-worker receives favorable treatment or isn’t pulling his or her weight. 00:48 Pamela D. Wilson: This is Pamela D. Wilson, caregiving expert. Is there a way to overcome that belief that somebody is always going to tell us no? You could think of it like that, but it’s basically over-helping. I don’t want to risk rejection again. So when people do say no, it’s more often than not because of circumstances, because they happen to not be able to do something that day. The short answer to this question is yes, it is possible. By Dr. Suzanne Gelb, Ph.D., J.D., Contributor. But empathy, like most things in life isn’t all one thing or another, so it’s not all good. As a matter of fact, it’s admirable. 42:33 Pamela D. Wilson: We can pass through resentment by making a choice to forgive ourselves and others for actions that created the resentment. Support for caregivers is here every week on The Caring Generation, every Wednesday night, also on my website, PamelaDWilson.com. You can go on my website and share that information. 48:02 Pamela D. Wilson: When I was a 24/7 caregiver, my guilty pleasure was going to the gym. It is called Why is Patient Education and Engagement So Important? Dementia Care at Home: A Step-by-Step Care Plan to Maintain Quality of Life. This person didn’t really want to help me. Finally, be sure that you budget some money and plan out the care that your parent needs. Taking Care of an Elderly Parent -- and Not Loving It? The US healthcare system is not a situation of prevention. 06:21 Pamela D. Wilson: Let’s talk more about pain and joy. I can do this, I don’t have to do this. Take the time to. Caregivers know that giving up your life to care for elderly parents may not be the only option as you become more educated. 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